Friday, April 29, 2011

Believe

I have recently had a very difficult time believing in myself. I graduated from college in December of 2008 and have not been able to find a job. I revieved my education in... EDUCATION!!! For some reason though I have not been able to find a teaching positon. For two years I have been looking and wondering what I am doing wrong and why no one will give me a chance to show what I can do and help the children that will be our future!!! I have prayed and prayed about showing me the way and asking for guidence and asking for a sign to show me that there is nothing wrong with me and it really is just the tough economic times that are affecting everyone. The only problem is that when I graudated there were about 10 of us that had become really close thru out the three years that we spent together. For the most part you see the same people in most of your classes thru out the journey from Sophomore year til Senior year when you graduate. Well 9 out of the 10 got teaching jobs for the following school year. I was the only one that didn't get a teaching job. I was on the verge of depression. Around the same time I was also going through a lot of personal issues in my relationship with my now Husband.

On November 21, 2009 I got married and on March 5, 2010 I gave birth to our beautiful baby boy Jackson!!! He was a very unexpected suprise when I found out I was pregnant. But it does come at a time when I believe in Miracles!!! In June of 2009 Jack's Aunt passed away from a tramatic brain injury that she got from wrecking a motorcycle that she was riding with her husband. He ended up loosing one of his legs and his wife. It was very hard for him to believe what had just happened. I what was even worse was that both of his kids were on motorcycles behind them when the wreck happened and they had to see it all happen and not be able to do anything about it. Well around the time of the funeral everyone was joking around that I could be pregnant, not exactly sure how it got pinned on me that I was the pregnant one out of our group but somehow it was pinned on me. Although looking back now almost two years ago I was really tired all the time but I was just chalking it up to the fact that I wasn't sleeping and was spending most of my time up at a hospital. Well not too long after the funeral I did find out I was pregnant... Now I know that I had to get pregnant before Crystal passed away but still the timing was PERFECT!!! I have always believed that when one life passes another is created. God had choosen me!!! Me of all people to hold this blessed child and bring him into this world!!! Well Jack's Uncle was still in the hospital when all of this happened. He was on the verge of going into a depression when we found out I was pregnant. He just knew that it was Crystal coming back to this world!!! Me being pregnant gave him a reason to push on and fight to stay alive!!! He was at the hospital when I gave birth to Jackson and came into the room very shortly after to meet his wife in our son!!! He was very scared to hold him at first and it took a few months before he would hold Jackson. But he loved him with all of his heart!!!

A year later Jackson is in LOVE with Bo!!! When he comes into the room he reaches for him and wants to be held and hugged by Bo!! I truly believe that Crystal is Jackson reborn!!!! It makes me cry just thinking of how far my family has come since 2009!!!

Well I finally found a job in November of 2010; not a teaching job but a job at an elementary school; I get to work with children and I have made a great impression on the Principal here at the school. But I am still hoping that I can get a teaching positon for next school year.

This morning I was reading my Daily Devotionals from the great Joel Osteen. I love my Pastor but for some reason when ever I am having an issue in my life or something is just really getting under my skin I can turn on Joel on Sunday and he is preaching about whatever I am having an issue with in my life. It is the weirdest thing. My mom is the same way too!!! If we are just flipping thru the channels and happen to come across Joel on T.V. he is always talking to US about our problems!!! We always think I was made to hear this and he really does help. Well a few months ago I bought his Daily Devotions book and today's message was again just for me and my struggle with finding a job and doubting myself.

   ~ Change What You Expect~
                  Listen to my voice in the morning, LORD. Each morning I bring my requests to you        and             wait expectantly.
                        PSALM 5:3

             In this lesson Joel talked about not always getting what we desreve in life but we do get what we expect out of life. We also get what we believe in, and unfortunatly it also works in the negative affect as well. That if we expect defeat and failure we will get what we expect. Now if you switch your thinking to a more positive positon you will get a positive outcome. The key is to expect good things from GOD!!!! "When you encounter tough times, ask God for wisdom, and change what you expect. Even if the bottom falls out of your life, you attitude should be: God, I know that You are going to use this for my good. I believe that You're going to bring me out stronger than ever before."

So this is exactly what I am going to do!! I am going to think more positive thoughts and ask God for wisdom and keep thinking that I WILL GET A TEACHING JOB!!! For whatever reason I was ment to not get a job when I graduated; I was meant to work at the school I do now; and I will get a teaching position when the time is right and the situation is correct for me and my family!!!

Hope you have a great Friday; It is what you make it; so make it good with GOD!!!!!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Hoppy Easter!!!!

Well this was Jackson's 2nd Easter. This year we spent it with Jack's Dad's Family at his dad's new house just south of Austin, TX. Let's just say that I was very happy to finally be back in my own bed on Sunday night. There were about 17 people trying to sleep in a small three bedroom house. We made it work but it was very loud and cramped! But boy was the cooking GREAT once Jack's aunt got there and made us breakfast and lunch for Easter!!!!




Jackson had such a great time playing with all of his cousins, and running around outside and just being a boy out in the country; sadly since he won't sit still he didn't get to go on the boat fishing with his Daddy and Uncle and Grandpa. Next time though!! :-) 

So other than getting BIT BY A DOG; Jackson had such a great EASTER!!!!!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Weekly Gratitude

I got this from Shallan's blog. I thought it was a nice way of showing my thanks each week, and also to remind me of all that I have to be thankful for!!!


1: My Son; Jackson I am so thankful that your surgery went well and there were no complications. I am also thankful that you won't have any more ear infections (atleast until the tubes fall out)
2: My parents: You both help me out so much with Jackson; when I don't feel well or have had a rough day and just need a minute to wind down and not have a toddler climbing all over me at that moment. I am also thankful for you guys for allowing us to stay with you for so long. The idea of leaving my best friend was a scary thought but thanks to my dad that will never happen and Jack and I will have our own house soon!!!
3: Amy; I don't know what I would do without you in my day to give me my comedic laugh during lunch. I am also thankful that I can bitch to you when I just need to let off some steam. Thank you for asking how Jackson was doing and actually wanting to hear the answer.
4: My Husband: You are my true best friend and I love you so much!!! Thank you for being so passionate about Jackson and wondering why things were going so slowly when you knew that it had been forever. I enjoy spending as much time together as we have and look forward to all the many many years that we have to look forward to. I am also thankful that you put up with me when I get in a mood!! I LOVE YOU!!!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Jackson is Growing up So FAST!!!

So last night there were some tears of fear and tears of joy around our house. The tears of fear were when Jackson fell face first off of our step into our living room from our dining room!!! He was bouncing a big blue ball (which he LOVES) and I thought he was already in the living room bouncing the ball behind the chair. I was laying on the floor streching out because I had just arrived home about 20 min. before all this happened, from working out and letting our babies play together with Jenica. So we are all just sitting around and next thing I know my mom is YELLING "OH MY GOD THE BABY!!!!" Crash!!! Baby goes face first down the step. Luckily no damage was done, I think it just really scared him!!!! After we got him calmed down I decided that I was going to give him his bath!!! I needed some alone time with just Baby and Mommy!!! I was feeling like a HORRIBLE mother at this point for not watching my baby and for not being able to save him from the fall. So we get done with our bath time and get him all ready for bed, got the goodnight diaper on and his Jammies with his new socks. So we go downstairs and for dinner we are having PIZZA!!!! Such a great last minute dinner. Well Jackson is walking back and forth from each person wanting to eat off of their pieces. I have his own piece on my plate so he keeps coming back to me... When he walked up to me he did the most AMAZING THING!!!! Now keep in mind he is only 13 months old!!!!! We have been working on the baby sign language with him for a few months and he has yet to do anything, which is not supprising because he is still very young. So he walks up to the couch that I am sitting on and SIGNS "MORE"!!!!!!!! Which is where you push your fingertips together
He did this so many times when he wanted MORE food!!!! He was also SAYING More More!!!! It was the cutest thing I have ever seen!!! I was so proud of my little Man!!!! He also towards the end of the meal started doing the"EAT" or "FOOD" sign!!! Let me just say that he is not a baby any more!!!

Love my little Jackson!!!!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Tom's or Bob's??

Have you seen the new Sketcher shoes?? They are called BOB'S. They look IDENTICAL to TOM'S shoes. Now I know that when you buy a pair of TOM'S shoes they donate 1 pair. I heard from a person that I work with that when you buy BOB'S shoes they donate 2 pairs. Now keep in mind that they look identical and are almost the same price.
These are the TOM'S shoes that I want. I think they are about $45. Now keep in mind they are really only about $20 if you think that you are really paying for two pairs of shoes, because one is getting sent off to a kid that needs them.

These are the BOB's shoes from Skechers. I think I was told that they would donate two pairs to some where out in the world. These shoes are $45. So they are the same price, look the same and I believe will donate two pairs of shoes. I just don't know how the quality of the two shoes would compair. I work with several people who LOVE their TOM's shoes and are livid with the fact that someone else is trying to rip off TOM's shoes. So I don't know. I am still thinking that I like the TOM's shoes more because they really do have a lot more styles and colors and different things to offer than BOB's.

Let me know what you think about the issue!!